The Book Club Meeting that Never Was

So, I was supposed to attend this book group, which I was excited about because I’d never been invited to a book club before, unless you can call the slew of lit courses required for the completion of an English degree a book club.  I’m not sure how this particular group got started, only that it consists mostly of six women--sometimes more, sometimes less--who get together one evening each month, on the first Thursday, to discuss a title selected during the previous month’s gathering.  I secured an invitation through my co-worker, Chelsea, who was a frequent attendee, as work, children, and life in general allowed. An avid reader of suspense novels, Chelsea favors authors like Dean Koontz and Michael Crichton, both of whom I read extensively as a teenager and whom we’ve discussed during our lunch breaks.  The group typically chose a suspense or thriller novel, though they have in the past, Chelsea says, branched out into horror and sci-fi/fantasy. I was certain at first that I wouldn’t be allowed to attend; the selected title for the month was a new Lisa Gardner novel (When You See Me), which I had never read. For that matter, I have never read any title by Lisa Gardner, despite her being one of the  biggest names in her genere. Chelsea assured me that I would be welcome; there were no men in the group and a librarian type would be a novelty. Snacks would be provided--usually cookies, crackers and cheese, platters of raw carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, and celery. And, of course, coffee. It sounded lovely.

The first rule of book club...

Unfortunately, this group meeting never came to fruition.  As seems to be the case everywhere, the recent fear of covid-19 had caused the group to cancel this month's meeting.  The lady hosting the meeting (I'm not entirely sure this is true, but it seems to be the same person hosting every time) had come down with flu-like symptoms and was undergoing a self-quarantine.  As a safety precaution, meetings, it was decided, should be discontinued until further notice.  I was shit out of luck.

So, to clarify, I have written a blog post about a book club meeting that I never attended in which they were scheduled to discuss a book that I've never read by an author of whom I know very little despite her being one of the biggest names in her genre.  What we have proven here is is that the world is an unbearably more unfair place than I would have imagined.  To complete this farce, at this very moment, I am writing this post on a Lenovo Yoga notebook borrowed from my wife because I managed to spill coffee on my Macbook Pro, frying the machine and essentially turning it into a $2,000 doorstop.

This is neither the blog post you wanted, nor the one you deserve, but, sadly, I was unable to find a new book group on such short notice.  I will endeavor to do better.

Mea culpa, mea culpa.

May God have mercy on my soul.